1/2 DAY 2

Posted: December 19, 2010 in alone, confusion, facebook, lonliness, love, me

I had a shit night. My friend was drunk and off the deep end. Talking her down and to sleep wore me out in every way. Since I couldn’t fall back to sleep, I texted a friend who sent me stories about Venom and Spiderman til I fell asleep. I woke up feeling okay, better, not great. When I turn on my phone, I see i was “dumped”. (via text…from Florida…by a 25 year old…that I didn’t realize was my “boyfriend”) Then I cried for 3 hours. I ate a bratwurst. It was disgusting, which pissed me off since as I was cooking it, I thought how I wished bratwurst grew on trees and I had a bratwurst tree…and a peach margarita drinking fountain. Add in starting, stopping, restarting the same movie 5 times. Chatted on IM a little. Talked to Ben. Called my mom 3 times. Fed the cat twice. Got stood up for dinner and shopping by my friend. Read a blog. I don’t miss facebook. I miss having a life. I miss having somebody to love and it’s okay to love them. I miss just being angry and not giving a shit if I understood or not.  I miss writing flowery and gratuitously romantic run on sentences as opposed to lists of things. Incomplete thoughts. I miss not trying so damn hard to forget so many things. I miss holding hands. I miss video game Sundays. I miss cuddling. I miss smelling a shirt.  I miss missing…I think I am missing.

  1. Woo says:

    Painful, but poetic and real. Well written.

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