tears on my pillow

Posted: January 8, 2011 in me

i dont like being left.

i have all this mush in my heart.

who do i tell?

i want to tell you.

my heart is full of words to be spoken.

…deaf ears…

im SO being dramatic.

after today how can i NOT “have”?

it took a lot to voice my attempt at imminent failure.

i dont do “this”.

the whole concept frightens me.

im tired of being loves fool.

i am tired of being gratuitous.

its at the point that i judge the shit out of you…

and myself.

who am i to think shit could ever differ?

im stretching my legs.

the questions is: is it for the long haul or the familiar sprint?

im nefarious for running or pushing people away.

why am i seemingly attempting?

am i wrong?

i want 100% accurate predictive answers.

or im out

or am i?

id like to try.

i would.

but how can i?

im scared.

say something.

one thing,

the “perfect” thing.

make me shut up.

stop acting like you didnt know this IMMEDIATELY.

air needed to be cleared.

if im wrong tell me now.

i cant deal with that shitty process.

why see the diminishing?

why feel the hurt?

i dont need any more lessons.

i want a lot of things.

desperation isnt part of it.

you put up with my shit like a hero.

i can only tell my mom about you and hear  “good” so many times.

you saw me be insane and in love and dancing with azzy.

i give a shit about your sister.

i meant what i said on your birthday.

i actaully mean the shit out of this.

the past few days following of my STRAIGHT TALK…

have been divine,

but i knew this.

the moment i said i wanted to wear your hoodie and listen to michigan…

and you asked who i was…

i knew.

if im wrong, tell me now.

please…

i beg you.

i dont write blatant shit about boys much.

so you be the one to feel special for once.

and in the mean time…

i dont like being left

 

 

 

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