Harrowed Heroine

Posted: January 27, 2013 in me

Something that I’ve learned in life is that very few people care about a struggle that doesn’t end in success or failure. Struggle is not meant to be a chronic condition. Struggle is there to end up somewhere. Whether you become the King of the World or the Princess of the Pieces of Shit. Struggle should not be a lifestyle.

Success is a tenuous line. It can be considered a success by  you or by the world. That is up to you. Who are you? Do you need an audience? Or do you just want to sleep peacefully at night? Or do you want both? I can’t answer that. Neither can your mom who didn’t hug you enough or the boyfriend who refuses to stop treating you like shit. YOU CAN.

Failure has merit that people often neglect to credit. Failure holds a lesson. There can be honor in death and falling flat on your face. There can be greater lessons from failure than success. Failure will make you stop, regroup, rethink, regress, start over, go another way. Failure will make you succeed. At worst, failure shows us “what NOT to do.”

A few years ago I decided to stop portraying myself as part of the struggle. I still have my struggle. I still need my struggle. I embrace my struggle. I offer my tales of adversity to those WHO ASK FOR THEM. But, I no longer identify myself as part of the problem. I am part of the solution. This is MY struggle. MY time. My LIFE. I will never refuse to share my lessons with a person in pain or in their own struggle. I’ve just learned that my lessons are a means to an end. I don’t want to BE them. I don’t want your pity. I will not pity you. But I will understand. And I will give you the map I used if you need it. I will use yours if I need it. But I will not give in to the struggle until I succeed. Or fail.

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