Why I Don’t Mind Living at Home

Posted: January 31, 2013 in me

A case could be made for the ridiculousness of my ending up back with my family, but honestly, I don’t give a shit. In order to not lose all grips with reality, I need to EMBRACE the situation, value it and accept the benefits. Is this my ideal? Hell to the no, but my energy is better spent not thinking of myself as a loser. So these are the pros.

-BILLS. Now I am fully capable of getting any and all utilities hooked up and paid for, but living here is liking living with WIZARDS! I don’t need to know how much anything costs. I don’t need to juggle and panic and do without. I have cable, netflix, wifi, central air, dish washer, washer and dryer and the electric, water or heat NEVER get turned off. EVER.

-PETS. My cat can live with me. In this day and age a lot of people won’t rent to pet owners. That’s speciesism bullshit and I don’t give my money to bigots. In the process, I also get to live with 3 dogs that are pretty much family members. 45% of the time, I loathe their existence and need for care, but the other 55% I get to be entertained and loved on the condition I have food. Which brings us to…

-FOOD. Again, WIZARDS. I do a good chunk of the shopping because I don’t want to get rickets or die from scurvy, but these wizards LOVE cake! And ice cream. And ribeyes. Nobody knows their way around a grill better than my brother and I eat the shit out of that “Home Court Advantage.” I’m never hungry. There’s always staples, spices, treats and any appliance your heart desires to heat and eat with.

-SAFETY. I’m not so sure how well my dad or brother would fare in hand to hand combat, but they are men. Men love weapons and can quickly locate or MacGuyver something if it ever went down. And we have pretty good locks, double locks and an early detection system provided by the dogs. I also live in a very low crime area full of nosy white people whom have probably all seen my naked self through a window once or twice. We’re good here.

-COMPANIONSHIP. Sadly, I am not a solitary creature. Yes I love my privacy and alone time, but not as a state of being. After the novelty of having my Independent Lady Girl House wears off, I get sad. I isolate myself even more OR fall into relationships with an exchange I can no longer afford emotionally. Do my parents make me insane? Hell to the yes. But they’re not going to be here forever. I also get to spend more time with my niece than if I was off somewhere else. I think America is a throw away society. There are plenty of cultures that maintain multi-generational households and function just fine. Even well. I’m getting an opportunity to mend some of the “shit” with my parents and I’ve been a support, in many ways, for my parents individually and collectively. They’re also getting a chance to treasure some of the things they hoped I’d end up being in adulthood: kind, giving, funny, a good conversationalist, and friend.

Living “at home” isn’t something I go tell on the mountain, but I’m not ashamed. I’m more ashamed of the time I threw away living with people I had no business doing so and missing out on things that were important to family. I’m more ashamed of the time I watched swirl down life’s toilet because I was sad or lonely or afraid and didn’t speak up. I don’t think this transition means I’ve failed. I don’t think it means my parents failed. I think it means we succeeded in maintaining a relationship where this is a workable option. I just could never wrap my head around people whose family turned their backs on them or vice versa. And I’m fortunate and grateful that I can only sympathize. I’m grateful for my family and that I know now that they’re grateful for me.

  1. Rich says:

    Hi Jenny,

    Great blog!

    This is a very honest and balanced statement about the pros and cons of being very closely connected to one’s family, after living apart for many years. In a way it goes against Thomas Wolfe’s novel “You Can’t Go Home Again”. In your case your family is not attempting to drive you from their home. Rather, like you, they are enjoying experience of being close again.

    Hopefully, your blog will be seen by many others who can go to school on your experiences.

    Take care,


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