Archive for June, 2013

Ms. Tired of the Bullshit

Posted: June 23, 2013 in me

I cannot sit here & take the hypocrisy anymore. I remember a day,in my lifetime, where I could actually fool myself into thinking “Well, at least I’m still white.” But in the last few years, my ability to settle into the complacency of my whiteness, an air of comfortability consumed the men of color. I used to look to my black male friends as the only people I could honestly discuss that sickness that you encounter when you know you’ve been treated poorly for a demographic you possessed but did not choose. I saw strong women, like Angela Davis, step up for ALL women. This followed a lifetime dedicated to fighting for equality for blacks. I’ve often asked myself “Why?” Why did she step from that cause to focus on her gender rather than her race? Surely a woman that strong and intelligent couldn’t have believed racial equality was achieved, right? 

When Obama ran for his first term, I paid close attention to his campaign and debates. The thing that made me vote for “the black guy” over “the woman” was something he said during one of the debates. To paraphrase, he spoke about equality and moving towards a society where his daughters could have the same opportunities as your sons. Not just with him, but all through our country, that was the last I saw or heard of such an idea. All through our planet. Women now make up the majority. And are often disregarded as the givers and keepers of life itself. And here we are by the wayside. Once again. And in some aspects, in the ditch next to the wayside. I’ve given up on white men giving a fuck about women. I’ve given up on men of color giving a fuck about their own women too. The only hope I hold is that each father, brother and male friend will push the women in their lives up to the position they deserve. My last hope lies with the gay community. Because the minute the gays get the equality they so zealously fight for and rightly deserve, and back up women in totality, it’s game over. And time to move it on up to our fabulously deluxe apartment in the sky. 

Love Poem

Posted: June 2, 2013 in me

There’s a difference between melancholy and sadness.

Melancholy is warm & worn like an old friendly blanket.

Melancholy is where the merciful beauty lies.

Melancholy is the old friend who chooses silence over explanations.

Melancholy is who your soul is.

When it’s alone.

Melancholy is artistic utopia.

Melancholy is impatient like the longing of a kiss.

Melancholy is the candlelit record player.

Melancholy is the maniacal madness found at 3am.

The seemingly empty space that lies between tear filled eyes and notebooks.

Melancholy tastes like Billie Holiday and smells like Van Gogh.

Melancholy names you.

Claims you.

Tells you who you are.

Starts and ends your life.

A thousand times a day.

Melancholy will never ever leave you.

Even in sunshine.

And love.

Melancholy makes you pick up dropped pennies.

Throw them in wells.

And forget all of the things you wished for.

In exchange for everlasting contentment.

Melancholy isn’t bestowed upon you by another,

Melancholy is the midwife.

Who held you during your first breathe.

Melancholy is what makes you brave.

And foolish.

And exquisite.

And cherished.

Melancholy will never abandon you.

Or disappoint.

Melancholy is the wedding ring that holds your heart in place.

Never letting it break clean through.

Melancholy is the grey lack of loneliness that knows you best.

Melancholy, my love.