90 days

Posted: February 12, 2014 in me

i used to talk myself out of it
now i’m taking myself in
i feel forced
and fraud
and less of who i was
my feet as heavy as my heart
feeling words unnecessary
wondering if you know
how i’ve hit the wall
but continue to confuse myself
in step and word and touch
deaf mute senseless and reaching
for something i never wanted
this is how you met her
this is how she’ll leave
in one quiet act of happenstance
breezy easy and gentle
smiling laughing and dropping your hand
as easily as i wound my fingers into it
and i’ll never be at peace
and i’ll never know
why i’d disappear
to a place of not you
other than it’s what i do
lacking a coward’s regret

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