Archive for the ‘hope’ Category


Posted: April 26, 2012 in alone, destiny, facts, hope, lonliness, me, poetry

blackness so rich
absorbing all light & levity

depth beyond reckoning
evaporating breath & beauty

darkness so heavy
compressing time & truth

stillness ever murderous
raping the hope & happiness

i am the cloud
i am the abyss
i am the anchor
sinking this ship

no need for trembling
children needn’t fear
the descent is singular
only i am not here

the falling immortal
the silence of screams
the tear of life’s fabric
the terming of dreams

yet still my soul floats
it’s buoyancy my master
those days are far gone
of me…the beautiful disaster



Posted: April 8, 2012 in destiny, facts, hope, love, poetry, sex

warm exhales against my neck
arm strewn across my abdomen
lips soft against my shoulder
i am wrapped in confident comfort
afraid to sleep
fearing movement
the dream is now
in wide eyed alertness
sealed in skin
preserved in persevering promises
held in hopeful heartfelt happiness
i am imagining this, immortal
no, it is now, near, nestled
in real time
my everyday


Posted: April 3, 2012 in destiny, hope, karma, love, me, poetry, sex

i shed myself of shackles
binding my trueness & freedom
then i ran to you
steadfast in my resting stance

you stood stoic, cold, so numb
not weak, not strong, just still
i took my beating heart out
and rubbed your soul with its warmth

you bled away pain
inhaling the life i have too much of
with arm wrapped necks we flew
to safety, sunshine, home

breathing each other alive
i saw the you past, present, now
forever golden in my mind’s eyes
forever mine, forever you

the ground met our feet
lands of tomorrows, waters of today
the breeze of fossilized forevers
what has always been, perpetuated


Posted: March 23, 2012 in destiny, facts, hope, love, me, poetry

there hangs a heart from my neck because i’ve always believed in love
though i’ve felt self-convincing
ive fought to keep the hope
then you were just there
first a friend and soul mate
then holding my hands
now your kisses burn me
chest full of fire
just below my dangling heart


Posted: March 19, 2012 in alone, clarity, destiny, hope, lonliness, love, me, poetry

as i sat there
once again
with what was left
or wasn’t left
of my identity
and dignity
my heart hardened
or buried itself
underneath dead lungs

all i ever wanted
the only thing i asked
leaving with that
that which i came with
a suitcase of life
three boxes of happy memories
confident trust
a beating heart
two working lungs

but i didn’t
yet here i am
still blinking
heart throbbing with love
lungs swollen with hope
so thank you
all of you
leaving with nothing
pushed me towards everything

i walked in with nothing
unless you count me
and before i knocked
the door opened
the mat said welcome
and i was handed a key
tied with a ribbon
shaped like a heart
there’s no place like home


Posted: March 13, 2012 in clarity, destiny, facts, hope, karma, love, me

I promise:

Not to make my bad day more important than your good one. Or your ordinary one, for that matter.

To never fill in the blanks. I will ask. You will answer. Honesty. Faith. Trust.

I will always say thank you. Even if it's just your way, I will be grateful.

When I say I love you, or I'm sorry, I'll mean it. And I'll never treat either as a polite or expected retort.

To shed my cuts, scrapes, bruises and scars. I have no choice. I'm safe now.

I'll always evolve, change, hope, dream, have goals, and look to the future. But never at the cost of our moments, experiences or days.

To stay me. If you like it, I can't help but love it.

To let you be you… amazing YOU.

Be kind, understanding, a quiet listener, a vocal expressor, patient, loving and consistent. And all the mixed up blends and proportional balances.

I'll hold your hand when it's cold. And/or wrinkled.

To deserve you.


Posted: March 13, 2012 in clarity, destiny, hope, karma, love, me, poetry

ive looked in his eyes
cool pools of forever
lungs devoid of air
mind unaware of time
and i have feared

i’ve felt his confident weight
smothering my insecurity
paralyzing my need to run
tiny pieces of heart mending
and dare i say fluttering

for at least 8 days i’ve stifled
choked back
the 3 words i’ve always felt
because i’ve always lived 3 others

please not again
this isn’t real
it’s a ruse
nothing last forever
don’t leave me

i love you


Posted: March 10, 2012 in clarity, destiny, hope, love, poetry

the ceaseless cascade of doubt from lives past
makes me doubt the obvious

i fear the tingley fire of love
i dare not meet soulful eyes
yet still, so still i sit

the first day of eternity
anticipated encounters of centuries patient
breathless steadiness, frozen

despite the scars and pessimism
i join eyes, synchronize respiration, match the rhythm of a heart
i leap, i soar, i float down to your safest arms


Posted: February 28, 2012 in destiny, hope, love, poetry

love invisible
love tangible
love the color blue
love the encompassing
love the silent given
love unlocking
love existing
love impeccable
love pure
love sincere
love ebb
love flow
love mysterious
love familiar
love understood
love redirected energy
love that is love

being…me <3

Posted: February 20, 2012 in clarity, destiny, hope, karma, love, me

Today was the most, absolutely perfect day. I wouldn’t change a nano- second!

I wanted to go to a restaurant that has bacon waffles. They hold a childhood fondness for me. DONE!

I wanted a peppermint mocha. They’re my absolute favorite! DONE!

I wanted to go get a nerf gun & Yahtzee. DONE!

I wanted to be held & rest & giggle & be the little red balloon tethered to the mighty stone. DONE.

All amongst the happenings, I was happy. Happy to a point that people brought my happiness to my attention. I am feeling more like me than I may have ever felt before. Ever.

The universe lines things up in the most trixiest ways sometimes. I believe that. I have faith in that. I am under the big orange X these days. And it’s a wonderful place to exist. Living, surviving, these are all well & good. But being… BEING… as I am truly intended, is amazing!

It’s a very cool thing to see yourself. And I finally do. I like her. She’s not perfect, but she’s good. She’s a pleasant & refreshing surprise. She’s at peace… even if she’s the bouncy, blowy, red balloon…she is tethered to her stone


Posted: February 14, 2012 in clarity, destiny, hope, love, poetry

while you looked for me
i saw that you found yourself
it was worth the wait

chanced chances

Posted: February 13, 2012 in confusion, hope, love, me, poetry

banging my head upon your heart
i begged you’d let me in

nobody answered, nobody stirred
i lost you, my friend

i saw your photo mentally
every night you’d maraude my dreams

pressed by skewed reality
my tender heart’s midnight screams

i moved my lips in silent words
my eyes looking to the core

smells of resignation
my truths shredded ever more

a flick, a glimmer, elusive hope
i catch your reflection in my mirror

so tangible, so concrete
as if you were right here

and you were, inside my heart
banging on my mind

i needed to step out, and so did you
escaping the closeness inside

now here we stand, on blank canvas
white washed, weak & thread bare

one deep breath, a thousand heart beats
simultaneous uttering “i care”


Posted: February 2, 2012 in destiny, facts, hope, love, poetry
Tags: , , , , , , ,

ive asked to be little countless times
too many promises, so many crimes

and there you were, just cuz i asked
time that stood still, now quickly passed

trickles of tickles, fast beating heart
al dente noodles, no ending, no start

floating on clouds of blankies and peace
knowing that moments must always cease

the sudden sound of leavings, breath was held
eyes locking in stayings, bodies in meld

you grabbed my fingers, pressed down my soul
you saw the balance, what makes me whole

dream that, i couldn’t. wishes once deeply downed
in the moment, the tizzy, was my truth found

“Be my friend. Hold me. Wrap me up. Unfold me. I am small and needy. Warm me up and breathe me.”   Sia-“Breathe Me”


Posted: January 24, 2012 in facts, hope, love, me, poetry

organic of heart
effortless companionship
value versus bulk


Posted: January 23, 2012 in being told im creative, clarity, facts, hope, love, me

“I do wanna say that seeing u cry tonite was amazing…believe it or not…it comforted me so much…u were absolutely beautiful in that moment”

sometimes life writes words more powerful than i could ever fathom penning.