breathless

the beat of my heart reminds me that im not real

like the warm fuzzy lining of a coffin

left above ground

afraid to admit to the ruse

hope floats

like a bloated corpse on the river styx

penniless and denied admittance

i lay here suffocating

with each involuntary breath

weighed down by truth

everyone lying for there my benefit

helping me be the idiot

but im exhausted

from all the shit i do on accident

sometimes waking up and walking through  my day

feels like wallpapering the rabbit hole

im just not buying

and all i have is blood money anyway

earned with my greatest skill

being a fool

and making the same mistakes

some say i need to look in the mirror

and see myself for me

but i cant

i live there now

glassy flat and lacking perspective

thump

thump

thump

thump

thump

thump

thump.